It’s Hard Right Now

Ever feel like things were so overwhelming? Of course you have! That’s the thing though – everyone has felt overwhelmed. Everyone has felt pain. But, in these moments where the pain feels heavy like a mad rain fall that is slowly drowning you with immense heaviness that is weighed down by pain. Raw, disgusting, awful pain that is colored by the darkest shades of our secrets… That pain that everyone has felt before; so the space for me to complain is so small…because this too shall pass. This pain that I feel is so complex and unprecedented is really just so small – and nothing compared to the cries we don’t hear.

There is many different streams of shit flowing through my life currently. (I can’t seem to find a better word there.) They all feel vast and unknowing… they all make me afraid that I won’ t be able to control the speed of change and irreversible damage sure to take place.

One thing that has consistently been my personal kick in the ass, get me through this awful moment, hour or year – is that I am not alone. I do not suffer alone. In all darkness I remember – others do suffer MUCH worse than I have or even am at this current dark moment I am in right now. This has been my saving grace… I need to be aware and grateful for the resilience and strength given to me everyday. It may not always feel like a gift – but I know it is one not to be take for granted.

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